


The Blood Gulch Rap: Leonard Church

by Anonymous



Series: The Blood Gulch Rap [1]
Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Bad Poetry, Bad rapping, Swearing/Cursing/Graphic Language, really bad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-10
Updated: 2014-06-10
Packaged: 2018-02-04 04:58:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1766353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A teeny, tiny little rap from our favorite, powder-blue soldier/AI-program/ghost/sniper-guy-dude-person. Yeah.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Blood Gulch Rap: Leonard Church

**The Blood Gulch Rap**

_Featuring Pvt. Leonard L. Church_

My name is Leonard L. Church  
I'm a sniper without a perch  
And if you see me without my helmet  
My face'll make your heart lurch!

When it comes to fighting, I've had my fill  
Made a mess? Send my original brain the bill  
And, yes, Caboose shooting me  
Counts as a goddamn "team-kill"

Got a question? I'll set you straight  
I used Doc DuFresne as purple bait  
And when it comes to the Blood Gulch troopers  
It's Caboose and Tucker that I hate

When it comes to fighting, I've had my fill  
Made a mess? Send my original brain the bill  
And, yes, Caboose shooting me  
Counts as a goddamn "team-kill"

I used to date that psycho, Tex  
The chick who likes to step on peoples' necks  
That stupid bitch blew up my body  
Not like I can get another at the fucking NEX!

When it comes to fighting, I've had my fill  
Made a mess? Send my original brain the bill  
And, yes, Caboose shooting me  
Counts as a goddamn "team-kill"

**Author's Note:**

> This is for Gumby1011, who came up with the idea for the Blood Gulch Rap in the Freelancer Collaboration forum. I originally ignored it (because I hate poetry and rhyming and shit) until I suddenly started writing this in Marine Science.
> 
> Plus, the "Caboose" example looked really lonely. I hope Gumby appreciates the effort, at least, because I think it blows hard.


End file.
